I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
