ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
