Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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