So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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