Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
dude. I can hear the air.
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