i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize