In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
