I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
