i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
