nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
