he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
