I think I am morally bankrupt
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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