Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties