She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?