My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize