I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.