You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize