I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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