I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
