she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
