My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
