He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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