I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize