im holly from the hills drunk
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
