Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize