Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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