How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I need water and some morals
Randomize
