I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
