Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
