don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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