I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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