My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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