i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
