At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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