I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
