whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
