shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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