No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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