he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's like iHOP with fire
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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