yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
