we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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