So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
