I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
