just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
