She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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