he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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