You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
