Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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