I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
