Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
and you fell through a lawn chair
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
