so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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