I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
