I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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