Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
