TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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