Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
