It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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