how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
