All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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