you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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