so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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