Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
