She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
