one two three fourrrrnication!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize